– 50% of all marriages this year will statistically end in divorce within 5 years. –
TOP 3 CAUSES OF DIVORCE IN AMERICA:
#3 Family Pressure.
Many People allow family or friends to control their lives.
#2 Infidelity
Cheating is one of the most selfish acts a person can succumb to.
#1 Money
Couples young and old have been known to part over financial issues.
It’s been two months tomorrow.
So far, marriage is everything they say that it will be…
Friendship, partnership, higher stress rate, lower sex drive, money problems, baggage, along with endless blame, arguments, comfort, insecurities, affection, tension, love, gratitude and lack of appreciation. In no particular order.
Marriage is not easy. I don’t believe that it is supposed to be. Just like anything else worth having, or worth being worthy of, it is supposed to be ‘worth it’.
So many people have this delusion that once they walk down that isle that all their dreams come true, they receive a medieval dowry and live happily and comfortably ever after in sexual, utopian bliss. . .
Deep down, even the most delusional of us know that that is merely a dream cloaking the reality of family, friends, exs, sacrifice, and financial hurdles littering the path between wedded and bliss.
I used to say “relationships are hard”.
Relationships are NOT hard. I am an over-achiever who strives for perfection and is deathly afraid to even attempt anything I don’t believe I can do perfectly and easily. So yes, relationships were hard for me, because I let them be! I was too stubborn to give up any amount of time and effort I had wasted on some dead relationship and just cut my losses instead of desperately attempting to CPR it into some passable state of successful appearance.
Relationships were hard because I was hard on myself, and there is always gonna be some deadbeat loser loitering around to take advantage of that delusional drive many women have to “make it work”.
When relationships became easier is when I realized how easy it is to cut the loss and walk away. When I opened my eyes to the fact that I was crying over how there is someone better out there, but they were never gonna see me with some incapable, dramatic, man-child in my way.
(And if they did, they would realize based on who/what I was dealing with that they were out of my league. Truth hurts)
So I stopped pretending that relationships were so hard and stopped accepting less than what I knew I truly deserved… Suddenly, relationships were not hard, relationships no longer had unrealistic amounts of pressure, relationships are temporary, like, auditions. If they don’t make it, it’s not your fault, they just weren’t right for the roll. NEXT!
Marriage. Marriage is hard. There is no one next, no one else to audition, you’ve cast the roll of life partner and you are praying to the powers that be that that person can pull it off. The camera is live, everyone is watching, your future depends on this and there is no going back.
Marriage is hard.
Marriage is permanent (for those, like myself, who don’t believe in divorce). All mistakes are inerasable. And it feels like everyone is watching, waiting, hoping to see you fail. . .
Something about that permanency is so claustrophobic.
But also somehow very comforting and relieving at the same time.
Knowing no matter what you are going through and how difficult is gets, you will always have a partner in crime, someone will always have your back. You may go through low lows, but you won’t ever again have to go them alone.
A young couple approached me a few weeks ago with questions on how my new spouse and I were getting along, I explained to them that I’m still new to this myself, but my understanding of our positions in a marriage is that, you know you’re in it for the long haul, so you always try hard to be nice to each other and as good to one another as possible, because you know that you have a LONG way to go.
#1 Money Troubles
#2 Temptation
#3 Social Pressure
We have a long way to go. . .
Stay tuned to see how it goes.
*Going to attempt a new video sometime in the near future. I know, I know, I always promise that. And EVENTUALLY, I always get around to it.
You guys wanna meet my mate?
As always:
Follow me on Twitter: @kalanilei (your ex-girlfriend)
Friend me on FB: /lolita.ventura1 (yoer ex gurlfrend)
Watch Me on YouTube: @kalanilei (Highlights from My Life)
Until next time…
Thanks for reading!
And to all my subscribers, you are amazing! Thanks for following me through all my relationships adventures! Hope it has been an entertaining and exciting ride.
Aloha!
Relationships In Reality 